had a wonderful day today, despite the fact that im still in singapore, studying in the most annoying university in the world. yes, because in spite of all the bad luck, i have managed to feel good even after the afternoon is almost over. im not saying that bad things did not happen to me today, but i just wanted to feel that today has been a great day for me and i refuse to let that minor thing ruin my mood.
random things fluctuating my mood for the entire day today. analysis as follows...
1. on our way out of the house, we saw bunny boy again. from afar, we saw his back and thought it was him. but it seemed impossible because his kakak wasnt the same friendly lady that we used to see him with... but because as we walked nearer to him, we found that it was really him, and we were really disappointed at that moment, because he is usually too shy to talk to us unless his kakak helped him by encouraging him. but now, this new kakak of his, doesnt know us like the old one... so, today... as we passed him by, we just looked at him while he stared back, without saying a word.
result: disappointed and sad
2. as soon as we reached the bus stop, we saw the bus 61 leaving, in front of our faces and was unable to do anything about it. so, we had to wait for the next 61 to arrive. which luckily didnt take as long as we've expected it to.
result: pissed off but changed to neutral later on
3. reached campus with half an hour to spare, so sat around in class while waiting for instructor to come, so we can sign our attendance. then, suddenly, i heard someone call my name and turned to see that it was the girl that has the same ESL 407 and PSY 101 class as me. she has never taken the initiative to actually talk to us before, so i was quite shocked that she was actually calling my name... and asking me things about ESL class.
result: neutral then happy and glad
4. as soon as the psychology class started, our instructor kicked off lecture with a series of questions regarding the previously covered chapter. and for the first time, she called my name and to my horror, she was not looking into her attendance list. which meant, she knows me! DAMN! and i thought i can get away being unnoticed for the rest of the course.
result: shocked then scared
5. after psy class ended, we went to the admin office on the 6th floor for the first time. had a meeting with the programme coordinator. and was lectured and accused of things that i didnt do. and the worst part is, i was not able to defend myself and consequently, accepted every single accusation thrown in my way...
result: pissed off with the campus more than i already am. plus anger and frustrations
6. left the admin office with a lighter mood, because despite all the accusations, i finally confirmed that my uni the most irresponsible one i have ever seen. they themselves were at fault for not coordinating well amongst themselves, and they turned around to accuse us of inefficiency on our parts, hoping to get themselves off the hook for the problems. then, they wanted to compensate by giving us our deserved credits to shut us up because they were afraid that if the issue is further amplified, their good name will be ruined.
result: anger and dissatisfaction
7. while waiting for ESL classroom to be emptied out, we stood outside at the hallway, and two guys approached us and told us that they were taking part in a photography competition, and wanted us to be their models for the shoot. we were shocked and quickly lied about our reasons for not being able to help them.
result: mostly flattered for wanting us to be their models. but guilty for refusing to help them... scared because at one point, we thought we couldnt get away with refusing
8. later on in ESL, while waiting for the instructor to arrive, we were sitting quietly in class when suddenly a really loud and familiar voice shouted all the way from the back of the class, calling my name. i was shocked once again, because for the third time today, my name was being called by the most unexpected people. he was another guy in my ESL class whom i thought would never talk to me unless necessary. (like the few times we were in the same project group) but today, for some reasons, these people, found me to be information suppliers. asked me more about ESL group presentation requirements because his new group members were apparently, no help at all.
result: shocked, but was happy and glad that i was the one he wanted to approach, because it meant that he thought whatever information he wanted, will be reliable if it were from me (well, not so much, but in a way) =P
9. during my group's presentation, of our argumentation essay, our instructor was helping our opposing team make their point, when suddenly, she was saying something about 'grace and favour'... the same guy shouted very loudly in a surprised tone.... "what? grace and mabelle?" which resulted in everyone laughing their heads off for the next 5 minutes.
result: happy and contented because my ESL classmates are really hilarious. but sad because this semester is almost over, and i dont think i'll meet them in the same class again... and what i miss most, is the instructor and that guy who likes to bully her
10. after all our arguments ended, class commenced as usual, when suddenly i heard a soft whisper at the back of my neck... the voice sounded like the guy sitting behind me. what surprised me was that they actually acknowledged my existence. time and time again, i felt that they have always treated us like we were invisible. they can walk behind me and bump into me without apologising, as if i was non-existent. but he was actually calling me... and that could only mean one thing. he wanted my help!
result: surprised. glad. because i didnt expect them to ask me for help as they have a large group of friends together. glad because i was able to help. and a mere thank you was sufficient to keep the rest of my day happy
11. i added this last part because i felt that i needed to say this. during one of the group presentations in ESL class, while this guy was talking in front, he accidentally saw our instructor using her handphone. he stopped halfway to stare at her, and everyone laughed because she didnt like it when her students play with their handphones while she's teaching, but she was actually doing that now... but when she explained why she was doing that... i could feel her tearing up because she was worried about her husband who at that time, was getting a heart scan and she wasnt sure if he was alright. then when she stood up from her seat to walk back to her table in front, she dropped her phone without knowing and she couldnt find it. she was again, very worried because she was still waiting for the news about her husband, but now, she couldnt even find her phone. when i saw that, i felt really sorry... i dont know why, but i found myself really mad at one of my classmates for laughing at that time. i just felt it was really inconsiderate to be laughing about something like that especially at a time like this.
result: sorry, sad, guilty. but was glad she finally found her phone. hopeful because i hope her husband is alright
overall result: i have a mixture of sadness, joy and also a hint of anger. guess im really bipolar!
.grace.
